How do I Forgive Others?

Knights of God.

Anger and Unforgiveness IV

How Do I Forgive Others?

What is anger? According to Webster's Dictionary anger is: A strong feeling of displeasure aroused by a real or supposed wrong. Strong anger can express itself as rage, fury, the complete loss of self-control, and/or a desire for vengeance. In some, anger will manifest itself as grief and sorrow: Instead of being angry, such individuals would say that they are hurt instead. Many believe that anger is wrong (a sin) and so they are unable to recognize it when it arises within them. But all anger, whether recognized or not, that is not dealt with in the manner that GOD has prescribed, has equally devastating results.

When we got saved, we first had to make a decision for Christ (actually choosing him as our LORD and Savior), and then we had to confess this decision with our mouths before GOD, The forgiveness process in many ways parallels the salvation process in that like salvation we must first choose to forgive and then we need to speak (or confess) it with our mouths. (Rom 10:10). This seems like a very easy answer to a very complex problem and so it is. The actual process of forgiveness is very simple.

Many think that they must reach the point where they no longer feel the anger before they can forgive. This is what Satan wants us to believe. But the truth is that forgiveness is not a feeling, but a decision that can be made at any time and is not subject to how you feel, or how bad the offense against you has been, but on the choice that you have made. Forgiveness is a choice, a decision that in many instances you may need to make while you are still feeling angry.

Once you have made the decision to forgive, you must then confess this before GOD. Once you have done your part in the forgiveness process you can trust GOD to do his, which is to take the anger from your heart, which only he can do. Be sure you ask him to.

GOD has given us his command regarding anger, and if we will take heed to his command, there will be no occasion for stumbling or for sin to take hold upon us. GOD said: "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath (anger)." (Eph 4:26-27) We have taken the liberty to paraphrase this as follows:

Whenever you become angry, be careful not to sin. Be especially careful about what you say and do, for it is during such times of anger that many commit sins that they regret later, and that are grievous in their own sight and in the sight of the LORD. Always Always Always forgive others for anything that they did during the day that made you angry: Be sure to do this at the end of each day before you go to sleep. (Eph 4:26-27).

While Anger in itself is not a sin, (Eph 4:26-27), many believe that if we fail to deal with our anger as God commanded, (before we go to sleep), that at that point it becomes sin unto us. Anger that we do not deal with today will be there when we wake up in the morning, and if we let it accumulate it will fill our lives. People who have been angry over a long period of time may find the forgiveness process more difficult and will required more dedication on their part. People who have had long-standing anger who choose to repent of their unforgiveness, may find that forgiveness is a process that cannot be completed easily or in a single day.

This is a story about a man who was extremely angry with his wife who had grievously offended him again and again. According to him, once GOD showed him that he needed to forgive her he did, but later discovered that when he would think of the offenses that he had already forgiven her of, he would become just as angry as he was before. He realized that he needed to forgive her again each and every time that such anger arose in his heart, and so he did. Eventually, he found that the anger was abating and was no longer rising up within him as it did before, and now he can think on the former things, without becoming angry. After years of choosing to be angry, complete forgiveness and restoration took some time.

We need to first make the decision to forgive, then forgive and keep on forgiving until GOD takes the anger from our hearts. We cannot change our own hearts but we can always obey God. Our part is to make the decision to forgive, and if we do our part by choosing to forgive, and confess this with our mouths, then God will do that which only he can do by taking the anger away. If you think that there is someone you just cannot forgive because of the greatness of the anger you feel towards them, remember, it is your responsibility to make the choice to forgive, and once you have confessed this decision to God, you can depend on Him to do what only he can do and take the anger from your heart.

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